Understanding HALT

It always sounds so easy when someone says "What did you have to eat today?" or "What are your plans for today?" In the past I was giving people the Homer Simpson stare. My eyes fixed and brain stuck on the question.

Lost in the Wind

It always sounds so easy when someone says "What did you have to eat today?" or "What are your plans for today?" In the past I was giving people the Homer Simpson stare. My eyes fixed and brain stuck on the question.

How I came to know the HALT was through the 12 Step Recovery community. I had my daughter and was experiencing stress of being a mom, a wife, a therapist, and just myself. I was leading a group and as I was listening to the members, I noticed themes that were coming up were matching my own daily challenges. People were missing meals, not drinking enough water. We were all missing consistent and restful sleep. We couldn't remember having meaningful interactions with loved ones.

I along with others, were experiencing irritation, frustration, and anger with small matters. I began to understand that it wasn't necessarily a concern that should be diagnosed, but a lack of self nourishment that was taking place. I put the pieces together and HALT then enters the stage- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

HALT-

HUNGRY

Eating was almost an obstacle in my day. I was irritated at even trying to think of what I should eat. I had lists of "shoulds" in my head. Is it healthy, cheap, easy to make? Do I have to travel to get it? And most importantly, is it quick to eat so I can get back to what I need to do? On and on my list went. While I was attending to the unrealistic list, I was starving and becoming lethargic, irritated, and would finally give up and just eat whatever was available. Or, more often than not, would just skip the meal all together. As I was counseling others and getting consultation myself, I began to realize that eating and drinking water was a twofold benefit. The obvious is that we get the nutrients we need. We get our vitamins and minerals so that we can focus and be present. Yet the act of eating and drinking is also filled with mindfulness. It is a time to sit with the body and express gratitude to it for what it does for us moment by moment. It is also a time to be mindful for how the food made its way to our plate. It is a time of not just physical nourishment, but of meditative nourishment. Thus, making this a practice of intent helps us to slow down and absorb both nutrients and contentment.

ANGRY!!

AS we all know life is complex. We may have an issue with anger that is surface level like being cutoff in traffic. Issues with anger could come from hidden places within ourselves that we have to investigate..."where did that come from?"[oa1] Anger can simply be a part of “not eating” and the body saying “I need help.” Anger can come from experiencing an embarrassing moment and not knowing how to return to balance afterwards. It can come from relationship issues, work issues, being ill, being disrespected, racism, gender bias, prejudices, or standing in long lines.

The list goes on and on. We sometimes know the source of our anger and it may be appropriate to seek additional help that may take more time and attention. As we go through our day, this is an area that we need to check in with periodically. We need to find space to ask ourselves if anger is present and how is it showing up. Am I being silent and is it staying in my body like in my shoulders or my stomach? Is anger showing up as passive aggressive or as blatant aggressive comments towards myself or others? Anger is normal yet can become our own crown of thorns if not tended to with compassion and forgiveness. So creating space to check in with self is a way of showing the body and the silent parts of our self compassion and love. Let that part of the body or self tell you about the anger then give it validation by seeking help from others or creating realistic expectations that help foster calmer responses to our environment.

LONELY

Lonely, like anger, is also complex. Most of us do have loved ones and meaningful relationships, yet we can feel lonely while being a part of a full family. I also noticed that within myself and with those I was listening to, that intimacy was an important part of our daily routine. It can also be a form of starvation not to have human interaction. I remember having colleagues and friends in my work space that would always chat with me on Friday mornings. The time quickly became sacred to me. I would look forward to hearing them walk down the office hallway and shout out that they were in and as soon as they got their coffee it was discussion time. I named us the Three Philosophers-Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, because we always talked about interesting issues in the world and possible ways to solve them. This too was mindful in practice because I had a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the time and the people who shared the space. Similar to the example we must create space and create intent to spend with others. While verbalizing to others that we appreciate their relationship, it isn't always necessary to use words. Similar to the song "More than Words" by Extreme, when you have the intent and the gratitude it emanates from us and those around us will feel this appreciation. The bond is made. Thus we must also check in with ourselves and ask "Am I creating intent and space with those who bring me joy?"

Tired

Last, but not least, is "tired." It's hard to be there for self and others if we don't have the strength, energy, and motivation to do so. Here we must check in with ourselves just like we would a loved one and ask, "Do I need to sit down?" There is a wonderful skill used in the movie "After Earth" starring Will Smith and Jaden Smith. In the movie Will Smith's character often asks his son to "take a knee" as a way to rest, re-focus, and gain clarity. We need to do the same to ourselves. We have to be our own coach and sometimes bench ourselves. Often we are running on autopilot and before we know it we are running out of fuel. We crash and have feelings of shame and guilt about not completing our commitments and tasks. Our bodies indicate to us often that we need rest, and unfortunately we tune it out for sake of fulfilling an unrealistic expectation. We have to realize in “our own voice,” if we are putting too much on our plate. Therefore, two things can help with creating more rest. The first is the word "No," and the other is "Not right now." The world won't explode, people won't leave, and most importantly the "SELF" won't abandon us. We can't do quality work or be fully present if our minds and bodies are not rested. So “Take a Knee.” If it needs to be a 15- minute knee, or a 24- hour knee, take it. All will be well.

The HALT method can feel too simple, yet isn't that what we need, more simple aspects to life? We absorb so much and sometimes need to return to those things that ground us. Self-Care can be so abstract at times. Trying to think..."what does self care look like on me...?" Self Care doesn't only include spas, massages, facials, pedicures, date nights, and concerts. Those components do add tasty flavor to our routine but Self Care can begin with a simple word throughout our day- HALT. After that we can add more seasonings to our plate. :)

Need to HALT today? Be mindful with your time. Spend it with good food, healthy balance, and Sacred intimacy. #Sacredintimacy #Sacred #Goodfood #healthybalance #HALT #Mindful